As you might imagine, I frequently surf the Internet for material about plastic surgery in general and vaginoplasty and labiaplasty in particular. Recently, I found a message board conversation started by a woman who asked what to do if her boyfriend wanted her to have a vaginoplasty, to improve his experience during sex. He never asked my opinion, but if he had, it would have been this: If you don’t have a desire for the operation, then tell him in an unapologetic voice, “NO!”
If you want to have a cosmetic procedure and your partner supports you in that decision, that’s wonderful; go for it (using proper wisdom and caution, of course). If your husband mentions it as a possibility, and you think it’s a dandy idea, then great. Do it. But if you feel like you’re okay the way you are, and you don’t feel like accepting the risk that comes with having cosmetic surgery, you should never do it just because your boyfriend or husband asks you to.
Vaginoplasty is a reasonably safe procedure, and it comes with many great rewards. But this doesn’t mean you should underestimate or ignore the possible negative sides. Furthermore, every ethical surgeon I know would refuse to perform a vaginoplasty on you if she thought you were having the surgery done just to make somebody else happy. Sadly, not everyone is honest enough with their doctors about their motivations; further (and also sadly), there are a few unethical surgeons who would gladly take your money–and ethics be damned.
I advise that you assume responsibility for your own body and your own life. Build your self-confidence and explain to your partner that you like yourself the way you are. If he doesn’t, then maybe he should find another partner who meets his standard of perfection.
Obviously, I’m all in favor of you getting a vaginoplasty if you feel it would enhance your life. But you are the one who should be happy with it–not someone else.
