Quite naturally, I get a lot of questions about sex and orgasm, especially from women wondering what life will be like after their vaginoplasty operation. It’s ironic that, because women often have this procedure done to enhance their sex lives, some actually report they have difficulty reaching an orgasm following the procedure. This is normally only the case in the weeks and months immediately following the procedure. Still, it can be frustrating.
If you find yourself in this group, or are worried about that, there are some suggestions that can improve the chances that you will achieve orgasm after your vaginoplasty. Here are some of the best suggestions.
1) First, talk with your doctor. Yes,, this is a subject that is often awkward to talk about (maybe made easier if your doctor is also a female). It can especially be awkward if you’re working with a new doctor or you don’t have an especially close bond with him or her. But fight through the embarrassment. Your doctor can give a medical opinion on when you should start having sex. Even more important, he or she can provide insight of when it’s reasonable to think that you can get back to normal, sexually speaking. Having this candid conversation with your doctor will go a long way toward easing your mind about something that is probably quite normal.
2) Be patient with yourself and with your sex partner. Although there is a normal time that most people require to regain full sexual function, it’s not set in stone; everybody is different. Sometimes it might take months to get sexual response restored where it was prior to the surgery. In fact, if you focus too much on the orgasm, this could turn a physical problem into an emotional one–and hinder orgasm even more! So for right now, just enjoy sex for what it provides and don’t stress out over the orgasm.
3) Some women would benefit from a low-level hormone treatment. That’s because vaginoplasty sometimes disrupts the regular flow of testosterone, which both men and women need to have a healthy sex life and libido. Some women have found that by going through a light hormone treatment, their sex life can be jump started and they can get back to having orgasms shortly after their vaginoplasty.
4) Don’t be afraid to try new sexual things. In a vaginoplasty, tissue and nerves which are involved in sexual pleasure are remapped. It’s going to take some time to adjust to your new sensations and to learn what stimulates you. So by trying new positions and accessories, you can find out the key to orgasm, almost by trial and error.
So be patient and have fun–without letting your mind get consumed with the lack of orgasms. It’ll come in time.
